Mama, I Hear You

 

15 months ago, I officially entered the incredibly lonely world of being the mother of a suicide survivor. I became the mother of a child who fights daily to put one foot in front of the other. I entered a world that not many can understand. A world that unless you have walked this path as a mother firsthand, you simply won’t understand. And you’re not expected to and that’s okay. 

For 15 months I have felt alone day after day as a mom. Occasionally I have another mom who understands what it is like to have this constant fear, this constant worry that today may be the last day. That if you say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing you will be “the reason.” Most people use the phrase “they will be fine” or “you can’t live in fear” but unless this is your reality, you truly don’t understand. You can’t possibly understand. And that’s okay, you’re not expected to. 

So in an attempt to help others, I’m taking my private journal and moving parts here. I want you, mama, to know you’re not alone. To know that there are more of us that hurt. That worry. That are scared. That are walking this terrifyingly lonely road. 

Mama, I hear you. Mama, I’m here for you. Mama, we’re in this together. 

Xoxoxo

Mary