Choose Joy

 

One important thing I have learned on this journey is to daily find joy. As I have said before, it is lonely. It is exhausting. It is hard.  It feels impossible. 

For years I asked myself and my family what brought me/you joy today and it felt important, but not nearly as important as it does now. Now my heart is almost always full of worry and fear.  Always waiting for “that” call again. Always on edge. Always waiting for the what if…..

Now asking “What bought me joy today?” Is absolutely critical to my day. More often lately I sincerely have good days that are not full of faking smiles, but even on the days where those don’t occur, and I know every smile will be forced and the tears will burn at the back of my eyes until I finally let them spill over at some point, even on those days I find joy. Even on those days there is joy. A nice hot cup of coffee. An I love you from my husband and children. My lunch fruit was perfect and not soggy or that piece of chocolate was amazing. Something. Anything. There is always a reason to find joy, we just have to search for it sometimes.   

If you’re struggling, try this. Ask yourself everyday what brought you joy. Even if it seems minuscule to the world, it’s huge to you, and to me. 

So…..

Mama, I hear you. Mama, I’m here for you. Mama, we’re in this together. 

XOXOXO

Mary